My husband likes to wear my lingerie, makeup, lipstick. What does this mean?
He is manly, straight and tells me he likes to get in touch with his feminine side but that he still likes women only when it comes to attraction. He said he can’t explain it other than it makes him feel good and sexy. He broke this to me 6 months ago and I thought he was being playful and we had fun in bed while he was looking like a woman and he even shaved his body hair. But now the cat is out the bag he likes to do this twice per week and now I am starting to wonder about him.
Someone, please help because I am not understanding this at all.
You know he is NOT gay. In fact, I believe he is a normal, healthy, heterosexual man with one little kink hard-wired in his brain. Its called a transvestic fetish. Yes, he has a fetish.
About 50% of men would rather die than feminize themselves. About 40% will cross-dress to make others laugh, to be funny, as a dare, or some other silly reason, but they really feel nothing special from it. Then there are people like your husband who really love the feelings the experience provides.
When your husband feminizes himself his brain releases dopamine and other neurotransmitters. These neurotransmitters produce sensations of well-being, pleasure, sexual gratification and self-identity. They affect the reward centers of his brain, the gratification response, so it mimics the addiction response. He cannot stop his brain from releasing these chemicals so he feels he needs to cross-dress.
He thinks he loves the feel of extreme feminizing, but he really just loves the sensation from the neurotransmitters. He is just using cross-dressing as the tool to get his brain to release the neurotransmitters. Now if he just does the same thing over, and over, and over, his brain will slowly, over time, release less and less neurotransmitters. In order to achieve the same “high” he needs to do something different and push the envelope on his cross-dressing further and further and further. So, he does it more often, and goes to greater extremes, and takes greater risks. This is typical behavior for all fetishes.
To you he seems out-of-control, acting irrationally, and addicted. He may agree that he doesn’t understand why he does this, but he will not accept that he is out-of-control. He wants to believe that he could stop if he wanted to, but he just doesn’t want to. Truth is, he cannot stop.
You need to serve as his conscious, to help him keep in touch with reality. You need to set his limits and he needs to try his best to live within your limits. You need to determine what are your tolerances, and provide him some room for his fetish. If he can accept some limits to his fetish, then he will gain control over his life. Remember this mimics the addiction response, so he needs to control it, or it will control him.
Lingerie Mixed Bag 1.mp4
